![]() ![]() PORKCHOP (Hamm) sits on the bridge, sporting a bowler. An enormous, pig-shaped spaceship hovers above them. He leans toward Bart, lets out a fearsome ROAR. WOODY Well, I brought my dinosaur, who eats force-field dogs! JESSIE Yo-Dee-Le-Hi-HoooOOOOOOOO! The Earth trembles. From above, SLINKY springs down the canyon walls, coils crackling with energy. WOODY Reach for the sky! ONE-EYED BART You can’t touch me, Sheriff! I brought my attack dog with a built-in force field! Bart WHISTLES. ALIENS OooOOOOoooo! Buzz flies out of the sun, firing his laser. The Aliens see something in the sky, point. DESERT PLAINS A large, hand-painted sign reads: Border Crossing One Mile Outlaws Welcome 3 WHIP PAN - The Corvette speeds past. WOODY Now let’s catch some criminals! BUZZ To Infinity. BUZZ Glad I could catch the train! Woody leans out the front. Then, the entire train rises into the sky. JESSIE No.! From deep in the canyon, a FLASH and RUMBLE. Woody and the train plummet over the edge. Bullseye and Jessie skid to a stop at the canyon edge. POV - The train skids toward the severed rails. JESSIE Woody, hurry! Woody turns a gear, pulls the brake. Woody stands, then leaps from Bullseye into the locomotive. 2 WOODY Ride like the wind, Bullseye! Bullseye runs up next to the speeding locomotive. ALIENS Oooooooooo! ONE-EYED BART It’s me or the kiddies, Sheriff! Take your pick! The Potato Heads leap off the train into the Corvette. HONK-HONK! A pink Corvette, driven by the three ALIENS, pulls up alongside the train. ONE-EYED BART Hate to leave early, but our ride is here. ![]() JESSIE Oh no! WOODY The orphans! WHIP PAN - A train car of TROLLS lean out the windows. ZOOM to REVEAL - The middle of the bridge is loaded with dynamite. ![]() ONE-EYED BART I always wanted to go out with a bang! Ahead, a huge trestle bridge spans a canyon. JESSIE I believe you dropped something, Mister! ONE-EYED BART Jessie?! WOODY You’ve reached the end of the line, Bart. GALLOPING HOOVES TILT UP to find Woody, riding BULLSEYE, JESSIE at the reins. Ahhh.! Bart and Betty laugh, peek over the edge. WOODY One-Eyed Betty! Woody handsprings away. Potato Head), flips down the train roof, wielding a sword and nun-chucks. VOICE (O.S.) Ai! Ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-yah! A Ninja warrior, ONE-EYED BETTY (Mrs. WOODY You got a date with justice, One-Eyed Bart! ONE-EYED BART Too bad, Sheriff - I’m a married man. ONE-EYED BART Hey! The lasso lifts him off his feet. ONE-EYED BART Money, money, money! Ha! Ha! Ha! Bart stashes the loot. OLD WEST - DAY A train races across the desert. ![]()
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